The Skill Nobody Taught You About Visibility

When people talk about visibility in business, they usually talk about confidence.

Be more confident on camera.
Be more confident in sales conversations.
Be more confident sharing your opinion.

But after more than two decades in business, I’ve realised something else.

The real skill nobody teaches you about visibility isn’t confidence.

It’s the ability to tolerate being misunderstood.

And that’s far more uncomfortable.

Because when you start showing up more visibly — online, on stage, in leadership — you’re not just sharing information.

You’re revealing identity.

And not everyone will recognise the version of you that’s emerging.

The awkward middle

There’s a stage of growth that doesn’t get much airtime.

You’re no longer a beginner.
But you’re not yet fully established in the next level you can sense is possible.

You refine your message.
You narrow your focus.
You raise your standards.
You speak more directly.

And something subtle happens.

Some people respond differently.

Engagement fluctuates.
Peers go quiet.
A long-time follower drifts away.
Someone says, “You’ve changed.”

And they’re right.

You have.

Growth always changes how you’re perceived.

The temptation — especially if you’re wired to be liked — is to soften your edges. To explain more. To dial yourself back to the version that felt safer.

But higher levels of visibility require emotional steadiness.

Being seen means being interpreted

The moment you express yourself with clarity and conviction, you open yourself up to interpretation.

Some people will project onto you.

Some will misunderstand your intent.

Some will decide what you “really meant” without ever asking.

That’s not a communication failure. It’s human nature.

You can be thoughtful, measured, and clear — and still be misread.

If your nervous system equates misunderstanding with rejection, you’ll unconsciously shrink.

You’ll hedge your opinions.
You’ll dilute your message.
You’ll over-explain to prevent misinterpretation.

But as your work grows, you can’t control every interpretation.

You can only control your alignment.

The cost of staying widely understood

Many coaches I speak to don’t struggle with competence.

They struggle with permission.

Permission to outgrow their original audience.
Permission to stop explaining themselves to people who aren’t their people.
Permission to say what they actually believe.

Staying widely understood often means staying slightly generic.

And generic feels safe.

But it’s also forgettable.

The more specific you become, the more distinct you become.

And distinct voices aren’t universally embraced.

They’re respected by the right people.

A quieter kind of resilience

There’s a quieter resilience required here.

Not the loud, motivational kind.

The grounded kind.

The ability to share something meaningful and not obsess over the response.

The ability to lose a follower and not spiral into self-doubt.

The ability to evolve without issuing a justification.

This isn’t arrogance.

It’s self-trust.

And ironically, this is what actually builds confidence.

Confidence isn’t built from universal approval.

It’s built from surviving visibility.

If showing up more lately has felt slightly exposed… that’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong.

It may simply mean you’re stretching.

The question isn’t:
“How do I make sure everyone understands me?”

It’s:
“Am I willing to be fully expressed, even if not everyone does?”

That’s the skill.

And like any skill, it strengthens with practice.

Visibility without validation requires alignment.

If you’re evolving your positioning, refining your message, or reconsidering your direction this year, a Calibration Call gives you structured space to think properly — not just react.

We’ll clarify where you are, where you’re heading, and what needs to shift.

If that would be useful, let me know and we’ll put something in the diary.